Ceremonies,
commemorations, and memorial services give ways that the individuals who
experienced the loss of a loved one can mourn and grieve. Burial/ funeral
services have been in human practice since 60,000 BC, and each culture and
civilization have had memorial services from that point forward. Memorial
services assist us with grieving and set us on a rational way to actively take
part in routine life tasks.
COVID-19
has changed how we do numerous things in our day-to-day lives.
The requirement for social separation has brought about virtual gatherings
replacing actual get-togethers. Zoom conferencing has become inevitable to
carry out numerous tasks. An online party time isn't just about as fulfilling
as spending time with companions in person. It’s all about handshakes, hugs,
catharsis b sharing the memories of the deceased with other close
acquaintances. And getting to know more by other people telling the same little
incidents.
But now
instead of all these the clergymen be they priests, imams or rabbis preferred
to use phone calls and messages to carry out shared grief customs or are
accompanied with sanitizers, social distancing, and making it (rituals) brief
when present in a group of people. The last resting ceremonies being practiced
for centuries now are significantly modified. These sympathies are currently
occurring via telephone and using live streaming so significant in the
distress interaction.
Indeed,
even get-togethers of close loved ones are confined even in the event of when a
loved one needs care while sick or if someone passes away. Coronavirus has muddled up different facets of
life; individual sorrow, collective moments of delight and happiness,
celebrations, family get-togethers, local area emergencies, and misfortune, or any
other event that calls for formal or informal meetups. But the pandemic has
impacted grief experienced at the individual and community levels. Not being able to
conduct the funeral ceremonies and other grief rituals left the close ones/ family
members with ambiguous loss. This way the grief and loss feelings are steered
out in a complicated and restless way. The mourning and loss may reside within
prolonging the natural grief and bereavement process.
Grief and
loss are attributed to shared and community support. The other alternatives in form
of telephone calls and messages may prove less efficient compared to rituals
and funerals attended in person.
The Dual Process Model of Coping with
Bereavement
This model explains
how grief and bereavement are part of our daily lives and how o cope with them effectively. The Dual Process Model of
Coping with Bereavement (DPM) operates in two major ways and individuals go back and forth between them as they mourn and grieve.
·
Loss oriented
Coping
with help of things that remind you of the person who has died and their death
are loss-oriented stressors. These could be thoughts, feelings, things,
actions, occasions, or events related to the person who has died enabling you to
focus and grieve on the loss of a loved one. These could also be their
belongings, old photos, what they like to do, how they do it, what they don’t like, and how would they react in certain situations- remembering these events or
imagining them helps to grieve over the loss.
·
Restoration oriented
This
coping is based on bereavement secondary level stressors that allow you to
rethink and replan your day-to-day life without the deceased person in a
healthy way. It is an attempt to reorient yourself back into routine life. For instance,
cleaning the house, being busy at the workplace, or watching TV. Making oneself
fully engaged in daily errands and chores as to avoid the feelings of grief and
loss
·
Oscillation
The third mechanism is a mix of above mentioned coping strategies. In mourning, a person moves back and forth between loss-oriented and restoration-oriented
grief to bring himself back to normal life. Sometimes he confronts the loss
(loss orientation coping) and sometimes avoids the loss altogether and is part
of usual life activities.
Healthy coping strategies
1. Realize your sentiments/feelings are valid
Sorrow is
chaotic and a characteristic reaction to loss. There are no right or wrong approaches
to deal with it. There are, obviously, shared characteristics, however, our
reaction to loss is unique for each individual. Generally, grief is initiated by a sudden shock, a phase of mourning, the preoccupation with thoughts and memories of the
loved one, physical and behavioral reactions based on the grief and honor to
the deceased, and gradual adjustment in day-to-day life. It definitely takes
time to restore oneself and be as active in routine life as before.
2.
Adaptive thought
patterns
You need to acknowledge what you can't
change; this implies tolerating the passing yet in addition the presence of the
pandemic and its results. You additionally need boldness, innovativeness, and
mettle to change what you can. This means discovering approaches to reestablish
your prosperity and adapt to the pandemic, which incorporates acting in
manners that are reliable with significant individual qualities or profoundly
held interests, being able to face and address significant difficulties throughout
everyday life, and having a feeling of having a place and making a difference
on the the planet.
3.
Sudden shock
is no less than a nightmare
After the loss, the feelings and mourning
talks are full of “what if….”. These what-ifs are directed to not experiencing
the loss, what if I had not let him go alone, what if he didn’t eat that, what
if this hadn’t happened. These are basically the prior events leading to the misfortunate loss of a loved one. Immediately after the shock, the individual is
preoccupied with these thoughts. In the case of COVID-19 and other sudden circumstances, these what-ifs are stronger and hard to let go of. This is known as a
"derailer" because it can divert the restoration and healing course.
4.
Try to not let
blame overpower you
You will probably end up feeling survivor's blame. This is exceptionally normal, yet it is something to notice and focus on
while attempting to not allow it to dominate and direct your decisions as you
push ahead. As such, you need to permit yourself to have euphoria and
fulfillment in your life once more. That may take some time. Simply make an
effort not to keep yourself away from having positive feelings and enjoying
them.
5.
Look for
hurdles in the healing course
Guilt, self-blame, shame, anger
imagining alternative ways that can postpone the misfortune events, losing faith
in yourself or others, avoidance of reminders of the loved one and /or social
isolation excessive avoidance of reminders of the loss, and extreme social
isolations are some of the hazardous thinking and behavioral manifestations that
makes the individual stuck in the grieving process and not letting him heal
effectively.
6.
Connect with
social distancing
Check-in with each other by calling,
messaging, or through webcam or online media, and remember the virtual embrace!
This doesn't need an inside and out discussion. Simply an update that you are
thinking about the individual and keeping in mind that they are disconnected,
they are in good company. Drop off food or goods while noticing physical
distance, or shop online to send things.
7.
Be part of
virtual rituals
This
is a hard time confounded by the failure to take part in conventional demise
and sorrow customs and exercises. Offer or go to virtual gathering burial
services, funerals, and dedications. It is necessary to respect the existence
of our lost loved ones and their role in the community. Photographs and recollections can be posted on virtual mediums
and seen by numerous individuals to praise their existence and their cherished part.
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